Tuesday, November 17, 2015


Social media seems to be a melting pot of horribly scary news stories ( #prayersforParis , protests, riots, etc.), red cup opinions and thankfulness. Many of my friends are doing the trend of posting daily what they are thankful for. I've done it or variations of it in the past (many times, not seeing it through the whole month LOL) but opted out this month mostly due in fact to my goal of not being on Facebook quite as much as I used to.
I figured a blog post about thankfulness could do me some good though.
Just being totally candid I've struggled with thankfulness among other things lately due to loneliness and depression trying to steal my joy. When that cloud comes over, it tends to make the small things you were grateful for and truly enjoyed disappear a bit.
Don't get me wrong, I still have moments where I look at my princesses and feel so much pride and joy my heart feels it may burst. They truly are amazing and just seeing them lit up with a big smile is contagious. I have allowed my own internal struggles really cloud me up lately and it's a mess, however.
I'm starting this very moment to make a conscious effort to change that. I have been trying to fight my bad attitude that has resulted from the junk in my head for a week or two now but I'm really having a hard time with the battle. Maybe concentrating more on what I have to be thankful for will bring that joy back and fight the darkness off.
I'm just thinking out loud.
Thanks for listening.

ETA: I actually wrote this post yesterday morning before work. I didn't have time to post it so I saved it for later.
I think there's so much more I'm going to have to change aside from just being more grateful. I'm not the person I was two years ago, I'm more the person I was four years ago. Makes no sense to any readers that do not know me but anyone who knows me knows that isn't good.
That whole rewind post I did last week? Yeah, I gotta do that.
Prayers appreciated.

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